As an autistic Christian, this is one of the first questions I really wrestled with when I discovered I am autistic. Is autism inherently dysfunctional, or are autistic people simply a category of people that the status quo doesn’t accommodate and nothing more?
During my research for this video, I actually posted this question on Reddit to get a feel for what the general autistic community thought about the answer. What I got in return was… mixed. Many responses (some of them now deleted) were extremely hateful towards Christianity and myself (as if they were blaming me personally for every bad thing all Christians have done), which I can’t say was too surprising—more disappointing honestly. I did get some thoughtful answers though, which was encouraging.
As I wrestled with the answer to this question, I realized that another important question lies at the heart of this big question: Is autism a disability? If it is, then I think it’s pretty safe to say it wasn’t a part of God’s original design for me—it is simply a product of living in a fallen world. But if it isn’t, then there’s no reason to think He didn’t make me this way, and it’s the world’s perception of autism that is twisted.
Quick Disclaimer: I understand that there are a lot of different disabilities, neurotypes, and conditions, but I am only referring to autism in this post, as that is the lens from which I have experienced the world.
Laying the Groundwork
Before we discuss potential answers to these big questions, we need to first lay some groundwork. As a Christian, I view this world through the perspective of the Bible. To give you a foundational understanding of my faith, there are three concepts we need to discuss:
- God’s original design for humanity,
- How we fell away from it,
- And how God is going to fix it.
Note: Please remain civil if our views do not align, as I welcome people of all walks of life on my blog. This is simply a summary of what I believe to provide you with a better understanding of the topic.
#1: What is God’s Original Design?
In the beginning, God created humanity in perfect harmony with Him and His creation. Every need was met, every heart was fulfilled, joy compounded on joy. Pain and sorrow were unheard of. We were designed to love Him and be loved by Him. He could have created humanity like a robot, with the love for Him already built in, but that wouldn’t be love. For love to be real, it has to be a choice. Thus, God created humanity with the ability to choose to either love Him or not to, to do right or wrong—and everything else in between. We have a choice to do good or evil. The lines of “good” and “evil” are not set arbitrarily—anything that is outside of God is wrong because God is the source of everything good. God doesn’t just happen to be good, good is good because it comes from God.
#2: How Did We Fall Away from God’s Design?
God laid out one simple rule in the Garden of Eden: Do not eat from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (Genesis 2:16-17). He immediately states the reason for this too: “for the day that you eat of it you shall surely die”. God didn’t lay out this rule to be controlling (quite the opposite); rather, He laid it out to protect us. Everything God commands of us is for our good, because following the temptation and lies of the Enemy leads to death.
When temptation came in the Garden, Adam and Eve both chose to disobey God, committing the first sin. Doing so unravelled all of the harmony in creation—light and dark, wrong and right, evil and good, began to coexist. The world was now “fallen” and an unfathomably large void formed between God and man (a void only God Himself could bridge).
God did not curse Adam and Eve out of pettiness, but out of justice—for He is the embodiment of perfect love and justice. In choosing to walk away from God, we walked straight into the trap of the Enemy, the ruler of this world, who sees it as his personal mission to take the rebellion in our hearts and cause it to fester and grow, furthering the gap between us and God (1 John 5:19).
Because the world is broken, bad things happen, and things that were designed to be pure and good are often twisted. Our intentions and our actions are manipulated by the Enemy, our prospects and plans fail, our bodies wither and break. Everything in this world—outside of us, within us, everything—is fractured and broken, fallen far away from God’s perfect image of creation.
#3: How Will God Restore Us?
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
~ C.S. Lewis
When I was a child, growing up in the church, my understanding of heaven was everyone standing around God’s throne, singing His praises—naked, of course, since shame would no longer exist. And since my brain thought we’d be cold in that state, I added hot springs to the image. For almost 20 years of my life, that was where I thought I would go when I died. It wasn’t until I read John Eldredge’s book, All Things New, that I finally had that image rectified. In this book, he uses biblical verses to explain eternity in a new light.
Heaven is not a vague, boring existence in the clouds involving endless harp-strumming, church services, or singing God’s praises whilst naked. Our eternal worship of God is simply to live and love as he intended. Our eternal home will be a tangible, restored earth where the beauty, passions, and joys we love are fully renewed (Revelation 21:4). The heartwrenching truth of new earth is that nothing good is ever truly lost (Revelation 21:5). Everything that brings richness to life—music, art, food, nature, laughter, and relationships—will be redeemed and waiting for us.
That is the hope to which we cling—our true home. A home that Jesus made possible for us by taking our place on the cross, giving up His life, and rising again.
In his book The Problem of Pain, C.S. Lewis discusses how faith cannot stand up in the face of suffering with a weak understanding of heaven. The church rarely describes heaven, which is what led to my cringey picture of it as a child. However, it’s a crucial concept to understand, because it is our hope.
Revelation 21 and 22 detail several key aspects of what heaven and new earth look like. From these chapters, we know that sin, suffering, and death will be completely eradicated, restoring the universe to a state of perfect peace and harmony. God will once again dwell amongst His people. All we have to do is choose Him (Acts 16:31).
With all of that said, is autism a part of God’s design?
Is Autism a Disability?
Before we answer that question, we need to answer this question: Is autism a disability? Let’s break this question down into one of two options:
Option #1: Autism is a Disability
Autism is currently defined as a spectrum, which means there are people with low and high support needs. Those with high support needs (or their loved ones) are much more likely to define autism as a disability. They may have intense sensory sensitivities, be nonverbal, or be unable to really connect with others. And sometimes, those on the spectrum with higher support needs can hardly even provide for themselves or perform basic tasks, whether that be because they can’t or don’t have the batteries to do so.
Ever heard of the Spoon Theory? It’s a popular metaphor used to explain the limited daily energy experienced by people living with chronic illnesses, disabilities, or mental health conditions. It illustrates how individuals must measure and ration their physical and mental energy using “spoons”. Autistic people often find themselves waking up every day with less spoons than neurotypical people, and this alone could be seen as a disability.
These things make living life as an autistic person pretty difficult, but the main issue that really sticks out to me is the difficulty with forming a community. God created us for community, so why would God design someone with autism? Autistic people commonly have difficulty understanding others and are often misunderstood themselves. They usually have low social batteries, don’t fit in, and have difficulty making and maintaining friendships. For God to wire someone like that and design them for community seems cruel.
Any of these examples could be seen as proof that autism is a symptom of the fallen world.
Option #2: Autism is Not a Disability
But what if we’re looking at it all wrong? What if it’s not “autism” that’s the problem, but the world’s lack of accommodations and support for autistic people that’s the problem?
For example, say the world actually had accommodations ready for neurodiverse minds without judgement. You could happily stim and express yourself, and you’re not forced to communicate exactly as neurotypicals do—making the correct amount of eye contact, small talk, etc. People meet you halfway with communication differences to foster understanding. Accommodations that make certain parts of the world less bright or loud are readily provided. This is a short list, but you get the picture: Support without judgement.
Just imagine how much easier and fun the world would be for autistic people. In this world, there wouldn’t be a need for masking, because your needs would be met and you would be accepted as you are. It almost makes me well up just thinking about it. It begs the question: Would an autistic person’s needs be a disability at that point, or would they simply be a unique individual? Would their autistic traits be “deficiencies,” or would they just be seen as needs—similar to a love language.
Hypothetically, there might not even be meltdowns, shutdowns, autistic rage, or burnout in this world, because those things often stem from masking our needs that aren’t being met. Perhaps, autism is literally just a neurotype—a different way of thinking and processing the world.
There are good things about being autistic. An autistic person is more likely to be honest, be comfortable going against the flow and follow their own path, have strong willpower due to black-and-white thinking, and carry a beautiful, child-like spirit with them into adulthood. If someone wasn’t autistic, they would lose an essential component of what makes them unique. They would be a completely different person—and that may not actually be a good thing.
Option #3: Autism is Both
But neither of these options sit right with me, because they both have extreme downsides. If you believe Option 1 (autism is a disability), you are saying at a fundamental level that you are broken—more than just born into a sinful world and ruled by your flesh. The way you think—you at your very core—is a mistake. A twisted version of a “normal” person. Autism is so ingrained into an autistic person’s mind and personality that sometimes it can be hard to separate personality traits from autistic traits. This means that when Jesus returns to restore our minds, souls, and bodies, restoring the ‘disability’ that is autism would mean fundamentally overwriting the autistic person themselves.
On the flipside, if you believe Option 2 (autism is not a disability), you are denying your right to ask for accommodations. Even though you have specific needs, you should just deal with it, because you’re not broken—you’re not really different from any other person.
But there’s a third option that many people might not even realize is an option: Autism is both a disability and not a disability—it’s a multifaceted neurotype that comes with pros and cons. How can it be both? Well, for the very reasons I’ve listed previously on both sides. There are downsides to being autistic, however, there are also good things about being autistic.
Every good thing comes from God. Meaning, any good thing about you was designed by God when He created yEvery good thing comes from God. Meaning, any good thing about you was designed by God when He created you. He didn’t just look at you and say, “I guess I can salvage this mess and make it work.” Thus, if there are good aspects to autism, He designed you with autism in mind.
Everyone on this planet was born broken. Since all autistic people share social struggles—just in various ways—a form of their “brokenness” might be that they struggle to connect with others. This understanding of autism only makes sense through a Biblical worldview. The notion that autistic people were designed by God with autism in mind, but parts of it have been twisted by this fallen world, is the only thing that rectifies the stark contradictions we’ve discussed in this post.
In addition, as we discussed earlier, autism is so interwoven with an autistic person’s personality, that it is impossible to separate the person from autism. Since we are designed by God, autism cannot be accidental nor simply a product of being born into a broken world. But even still, it is undeniable that autism causes some difficulties.
It seems impossible to stick autism into a box—strictly labeling it as a disability or not—it has to be more nuanced than that.
Did God Make Me Autistic?
I’m not going to pretend that I have the right answer, because this is a big topic to tackle, but I know that God is love (1 John 4:8), we are made in His image (Genesis 1:27), we are born into a fallen world (Romans 5:12), we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). That means that we are born with vices and/or disabilities, but God designed us with a purpose.
So, did God make me autistic? I believe He did. But I also believe that the parts of autism that make it difficult to traverse this world and make meaningful connections will be restored—I just won’t lose what makes me me in the process.
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